Carl Jung wrote, "Life is only born at the spark of opposites."

 The ancient art and science of alchemy is also a philosophy from which we can learn much about Carl Jung's work - and ourselves. Alchemy is the process of turning metals into gold; to do this, it was believed there needed to be great tension in the alchemical vessel. There needed to be force and pressure to render the impure pure. This is analogous to the process of individuation. We are the alchemical vessels, and the pressure that is forced on us is a result of the opposites we encounter within ourselves. To become whole, we need to reconcile these opposites. To do that, we need to be well-grounded so we can withstand the tension. 

Fairytales are great founts of truth. In the Grimm's Brothers tale, "The Raven," we see the tension of the opposites tugging at a young man. In the story, a princess is turned into a raven. online marriage counseling The young man has the chance  to turn her back into a human; he must go to a cottage each day for three days and refuse food and drink from the old woman there. The raven would pass by, and the man had to be conscious to receive her. The problem was that the old woman enticed the man to drink a sip or eat a bite, and he would collapse with exhaustion. He fails to meet the raven's conditions. 

The princess/raven is the force of the anima; it is conflicting with that of the Old Woman - and the Old Woman wins round one! The story continues as the raven flies away, giving the man one more chance to help her. She is going to be in a castle on the top of a glass mountain. If he is able to get to her, he can transform her and they will marry. The young man has several obstacles to counter, including that of his own maturity and patience. He has to overcome these, learn to use the tools from the Shadow, and develop the internal capacity to meet the anima's challenges. To do this, he has to first ground himself and have a solid foundation for climbing that slippery slope. 

The study of Kabbalah offers a visual way to view the tension of the opposites. The Kabbalistic Tree, of which a simple rendering is presented above, features several circles, or Sefirot. These are the qualities that represent HaShem, or God, as well as those which we find within ourselves. Each is paired with its opposite, and there is a third Sefirot that mediates or tempers them.  The grouping in the middle is Gevurah (severity/judgment) and Hesed (loving kindness).  Psychotherapy Tifereth, or harmony, is the quality in the center that tempers these two opposites.  We also have a story for this lesson: In the Biblical story of Noah and the Ark, God is angered with man's sinfulness and impiety. He wants to destroy what was his greatest creation. He sent rain for forty days and nights, creating floods that killed everything in their path. Except for those on Noah's ark. This was man's salvation. God's severity was tempered by his love for man, resulting in a covenant between God and man. We each face this tension of  opposites within our own natures. 

tBut you will notice that not every Sefirot has its match. The bottommost sefirot, Makuth (kingdom), stands on its own. This is representative of our own journey through the tension of opposites. Before we can confront them, before we can metaphorically climb the tree, or the glass mountain for that matter, we must be grounded. We must have a good sense of self. It is often said that one should not start studying kabbalah until one is older; the marriage counselor it is the search for the meaning of our lives, and we need that solid ground from which to start. Our young man from "The Raven," for instance, needed the time and experience of life and the development of his psyche before he could withstand the tension of opposites and find his own way.  He wasn't ready; he couldn't withstand the pressure of the Old Woman figure and turn towards the anima. Only later, when he had experienced more of life, could he really face these opposing forces. It is the same with the Kabbalistic Tree; you must be well-equipped to begin the climb. This is true in our own lives: we need to develop the capacity to withstand the tension of opposites in our own lives, and the wisdom to accept the dualities within our own personalities and psyches.