Unbearable Emotions and Feelings

 

The Term "eating disorders," like many analytical labels, describes a variety of dynamics and experiences; whereas a couple people might both over-eat and purge, the psychological explanations why they do therefore can be different. I'd like to talk among my customers who suffered from bulimia, in addition to the emotional factors involved, as her narrative sheds light on a far larger issue: how people may cope with excruciating emotions and feelings from trying to do away with them.

When I understood there might be an association between childhood sexual abuse and bulimia; I was aware that low self-esteem and perfectionism likely played a role. The first time we met, the marriage counselor Sharon said she'd been sexually molested by her step father during her first teens; while she didn't hit me as with especially low self esteem, she'd seem quite perfectionistic and self-critical. In our early stages, but what struck me most was little she could tolerate her emotions and feelings.

A Pattern began to emerge: if an adventure threatened to wake up emotion (it can be an intensely pleasurable feeling just and an anxious or painful person ) the effective impulse to over eat could seem. Finally she would give in, binge eat and induce himself to vomit afterward; an great feeling of relief consistently accompanied. diversity training We came to realize that what she wanted would be to feel empty, void of emotion. Her bulimia, in a very literal sense, has been a practice of emotional evacuation. By throwing up, Sharon felt she'd gotten rid of those excruciating feelings and emotions together side the food she'd eaten.

The Solution wasn't permanent, obviously: that the feelings usually came . Sometimes evacuating her feelings gave her sufficient time to get an alternative method to remove or avert the cause of these feelings; over other occasions, feelings could resurface and she would go through the binge-purge cycle again. In nearly every circumstance, her goal was first to avoid having any suspicions if you can, then to get rid of them whenever she couldn't.

Sharon's Mother was a very logical, remote woman who also tried to avoid all sorts of emotional turbulence. The fact that she somehow managed not to understand what must have been obvious, that her husband was molesting her daughter, shows how much she would go to prevent facing painful and difficult scenarios that might agitate her. To put it differently, Sharon grew up in a family with little tolerance for feelings and emotions; he never learned how to cope with them at a mental manner and developed , in large part, because of physical option.

There Are a number of other ways in order to prevent or exude undesirable emotions and feelings; the process of projection isn't often as literal because it's in cases like this of bulimia. online marriage counseling But I believe it's something most of us do at one time or another. On the flip side, when we're struggling to knock out such feelings, then it can cause intense stress symptoms or panic attacks. Moreover, the inability to cope with sudden, overwhelming and unbearable emotion may also contribute to create traumatic stress disorder.

You May have difficulty pinpointing with Sharon's techniques, however, you can use eating in related ways. Many people turn to food as relaxation, of course, trying to meet a psychological need by physical ways. Others use food for sort of numbing agent. As to the bigger problem of preventing intense feelings and feelings, you can find more common ground with Sharon. Here's a personal illustration. When my kids were so small and also the emotional demands of rearing them were too high (along with the emotional renewable energy sources of my psychotherapy practice), all I needed at the conclusion of the afternoon, later everyone else had been fed, bathed and in bed, was to see repetitions of "Law & Order" with a glass of wine. the marriage counselor Nothing arousing, nothing surprising... just the comfortable pattern of crime and punishment, with personalities that never surprised me. Problem? At the end of one's day, can you numb out at front of mindless TV shows with alcohol or even ice cream? Maybe it is because, following the stimulation of one's daily life, you can not take any longer intense feelings.

The best way Does your own regular function to limit the kinds of emotions and feelings you have? Are you a creature of habit? Let us understand (or believe people could understand ) what we'll feel beforehand. Who of us Really enjoys the jolt of unexpected feeling? It May be a Great surprise In the event the Publisher's clearinghouse guy turned up in my door, telling me I'd won The sweepstakes, however I hate late night calls that mean bad news, passing or A significant injury. You'd think, given the hardships of life and the prosperity of Possible experiences, we humans could always be hunting for new sources Of excitement and stimulation. It's surprising how many People favor the Comfort of regular and also the collection of knowable feelings and emotions which come up Inside our everyday day.